Can you survive infidelity

These suggestions might not work for everyone, but they are worth consideration in the short-term while trying to work through infidelity. See out a licensed therapist or psychologist who specializes in working with couples.

Be sure to ask about their expertise in helping with infidelity in particular. A place to start if you are still unsure if you want to save the marriage, or the affair is still going on, is a process called " Discernment Counseling. Some people find it better or easier to speak with their clergy. This may be a good initial step, but a professional counselor will be needed to help you work through the long-term healing process.

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I Accept Show Purposes. Helpful Tips for Forgiving Your Spouse. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Of course, technology can make it possible for cheaters to continue behaving badly without leaving a record by deleting apps from their phones or communicating with affair partners through things like Snapchat. If they're willing to get out all their repressed stuff and learn how to communicate better, that certainly can be a help. The cheater also needs to not only take full responsibility for the betrayal, but to show patience and understanding that healing from their actions is a long process, Cilona says.

Finally, the couple has to essentially recreate their relationship. Amatenstein agrees. But couples who do decide to separate after an affair can still benefit from therapy, especially if they have children. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.

Korin is a former New Yorker who now lives at the beach. She received a double B. If their spouse can find forgiveness and also move on, then there might be a lot of hope for the relationship yet. Luckily, there is an art to affair recovery, and there is a recipe for feeling better, forgiving your partner, and moving on with your life. Currently, the Gottman Institute founded by relationship expert Dr.

John Gottman is beginning a randomized clinical trial to test the effectiveness of what they call the Trust Revival Method , in which the stages of healing from an affair are described as Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment. In the Atonement stage, the betrayed partner has an opportunity to express their feelings and ask questions about the affair, and the cheating partner is encouraged to really hear them, answer honestly, and express remorse.

In the Attunement stage, both members of the relationship work together to analyze what went wrong and outline better ways of dealing with each other. Finally, in the Attachment stage, the parties work on bonding and rebuilding their relationship.

No two couples are the same, so your road to recovery is very individual to you. However, this strategy can go a long way toward healing and moving on with your life. If you think a little extra wisdom from the experts will help, then check out these great TED Talks that we recommend for anyone considering divorce. Go to this page about online divorce to learn more. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice , 3 1.

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